July 22, 2009 -
Last night and today I cant help but think of Granny I went to bed crying thinking about her, wanting to call her and talk to her. I miss her so much and I dont think anything will make me let her go and the fact that she is gone. I know they say she is in a better place, but sometimes I feel that how is that so, she isnt here with us? But I remember she is here with us and she walks with our Lord and she is better there then here with us. We will all meet again one day and hug, laugh and love! I just miss hearing her laugh, and hearing her voice. It is selfish of me to want her here? To want her back? I know they say death is natural and one day we all will pass and if we are lucky we will pass through the gates of heaven and be reunited once more. But I think maybe she was taken too soon, and that it wasnt supposed to be this way. They say it gets easier and you start to accept it, but I am starting to think it is getting harder, for me anyway.
I miss her to very much.
There are SEVERAL favorite memories that I have of mom - I went to Charlestown the other day and I was sitting at a "Five Times Pay" machine and started remembering when she hit her first jackpot on one. We had not been going there for very long and we both just started laughing so very hard because we did not understand why the loud bell was going off. We soon found out when the attendant came over and told mom she won $1200.00. She laughed and laughed and laughed some more. Of course I was laughing so hard I was crying. There were also the times when we went and didnt win a thing and we both looked at each other and said we were not going to go back but we went back again and again! Our Saturdays were filled with alot of fun. Mom tought me how to make preserves, can pickles and also fresh tomato spread. I would always like to cook with her because she made the BEST food - especially fried green tomatoes - YUM!! No one could ever cook like mom could. I tried and tried but could never get the food to taste as good as hers. Another very special memory is putting up the Christmas Tree for her. Phillip and I put the Christmas Tree up this past year and the funny thing is that when we went home that evening, mom called and asked me to do her a favor. I said "Sure I will" and she asked that if she was not around anymore, could I promise that Phillip and I would put the Christmas Tree up at her house every year. I promised her that night that we would do it every year for her. In the Spring and Summer when we went up mom and dads on the weekends, mom and I would sit on the swing by the pond while dad and Drew would "piddle" around the house. The sound of the water was very comforting and soothing as we made the swing go back and forth as we picked berries off the bush beside the swing and ate them for a while. Oh yeah, lets not forget the DELICIOUS hamburgers that she made on the grill - DELICIOUS! All these memories will remain in my heart forever and everytime I start to feel a teer roll down my cheek, I will stop and remember that mom is still going to be sitting beside me in the swing and sharing all of the good times with me. I LOVE YOU MOM!!!
Gladys I will always remember how sweet you were to me, and how we talked and you tought me different things while Billy was out hunting. You worried about him out in those woods when he did not come back before dark. But he had a good reason for not returning before dark....... He had a Big Buck :o)
We had alot in common and one was we love those Cowboys!!! I know you will be in Heaven cheering them on!
You were a wonderful Wife and Mother and a awesome Friend to me, I thank God for having the opportunity to share with you so many wonderful times.
I wish I could of told you these things before now,But I know you are watching down from Heaven and know how I feel.
I chose these colors for our COWBOYS!
"Grandmother" I didn't call you granny, there are a lot of reasons for that. The most important one being that you helped raise me from when I was born, even till this very moment. I remember many times going to the grocery store on the way to your house you would get me a magazine or something for the ride, and we would joke like when you had to pee and I would make you think of anything having to do with water. When would finally get to the cabin we would paint or watch wrestling, you taught me how to play rummy and rook and still to this day your only person I have ever played with. When dad finally got home from work, you were already working on dinner, I would hide and you would make up some story about how I couldn't come up and I would jump out on dad, he would then clean himself up and get ready to eat some food that never let me down in anyway. We would always finish eating then watch the news, some wild America, antiques road show. At bedtime I sometimes slept on a cot and yes sometimes you did let me move it into your room. We never had a dull moment and you taught me a lot about morals and about life. Our vacations were so much fun the rides up and down were never boring with Dad telling jokes and you yelling at him for being gross, all while me riding in the front seat on his lap breaking the law. Where ever we went going fishing or to some type of local scenic attraction I always was excited. I hope you can see how much you meant to me and much helped to make me the man I am today, while you left me physically in this world, you left a great impact on my life and always will. This is I never called you Grandma because you were my Mom. I'll do my best to be beside Dad in his times of need, but no one can replace you we keep learning from you even now, I'll keep listening to you on these tapes. And I know your listening from up above with your angels. Mom you knew we would be naming one of the twins after you, when Emma Virginia & Avery Elizabeth get here i will let them know how much you meant to me and how much you would have loved them like you loved us and Bailey all the same. Nothing can fill that void you left behind but when I looked up to see that cloud shaped like and angel I knew it was you and when I looked back it was gone and the sky was clear it was nice to hear you again.
With love your grandson JR
When I was younger, I can remember waking up on Saturday mornings and seeing Momma with all her bills spread out over the living room floor. She would sit and write the checks to pay them. I am not sure why I remember this but its my memory. I believe I have inherited my worryinng from her also, she would always sit on the end of the sofa and look out the window, watching for Daddy to come home from work. When she saw his truck, she would jump up and start to put dinner on the table. Momma worried too much, she wouldn't let us kids see, but we knew. She made an attempt to teach me crochet and quilt, but this didnt last long ..I wish I had finished at least one blanket. Betty found a journal momma began to write in. She wrote of our trip to Tennesse and how much fun she had, she wrote of how much Betty and I made her laugh. I almost didnt go, I thank God I did! I am sick almost ever day now, I do not want to work or even get out of bed. I am certain this isnt what Momma would want to see. Then again, I worry, not all will know how much because, like her, I hide it. Thank you Momma for teaching me to cook, keep a clean home, worry about everyone, for making that expression I make, when my kids say I look like you, Thank you for understanding when I became pregnant when I was 16, thank you for teaching me to take care of the Casey when she was born, thank you for taking care of daddy all these years. I could go on and on, but there is no need, I think you know. I am proud for my kids to say "You are just like Granny"
